Close friendships take tremendous effort and dedication from all parties involved. Friendship turns out to be a long lasting one when all friends are mentally engaged and put in their effort. Similar to romantic relationships friendship calls for equal investment of time and care.
When we bring our personal issues between friends the relationship becomes strained and suffers as a result. Yes, all people are not equal and no one is perfect but there are certainly some acts we often do that are very detrimental to friendship.
Jealousy: It is so natural for human being that we can’t but become envious of a friend’s job or of their marital relationship or of their romantic relationship. This kind of envy is probably alright if it remains hidden. However, if envy turns into something that looks like resentment or jealousy that’s where problem begins. When your friend can’t take it when something positive happens in your life, it is the sign of jealousy.
Lack of reciprocation: Friendships obviously are not always the give and take relationship. But there are certain times when if you fail to give back your friend might assume you don’t care about the friendship as much as he/she does. If you always remain on the selfish side take some time, put your thought into it and see what you can really do to give them the reciprocal attitude that is required.
Destructive feedback and communication: We need to stay honest in friendship but that doesn’t mean honesty should come in the form of trivializing us or hurting our feelings. If it comes that way then it really becomes ugly. Honest comments or concerns must be done with a touch of love, sensitivity and respect.
If your friend consistently hurts your feeling through bad feedback, they may be suffering from their own insecurities. As a consequence, they are trying to hurt down your feelings in an attempt to feel better. Anyway, this is a far cry from being constructive or helpful.
Negativity: Everyone is different regarding the tolerance level of negativity. On the flip side, negativity itself has different forms from having a bad attitude to complaining to verbal abuse or backstabbing. If you act negatively with your friend you need to figure out why such relationship killing attitude embedded into you. You are the only person who can identify the reason and can fix it. If you can’t get out of negative attitude it will be hard for you to make new friendship. Even retaining old one wouldn’t be easy.
Judgement: Wrong judgment can eat away all the trust as well as spirit in a friendship. Don’t try to establish all your decisions or perceptions as the ‘right’ one. Be respectful to other party’s judgement. Being friends, all individuals are different from each other and what seems right for you may not be appropriate for your friends.
If you feel any of these detrimental traits in your friendship it doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed. There is still chance to make it correct. Try to speak to your friends and find a way how such attitudes can be overcome. Once you find your way to repair the damage that will certainly make your friendship stronger.
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